I havent posted in a while, mostly because ive been feeling sorry for myself. Ive been feeling like im not achieving much or doing anything exciting anymore because I spend most of my time at work and the rest of my time recovering from being at work (I sleep on average 14 hours on a friday night and again on saturday. impressive, I know). But I realized, most of the reason I feel crappy emotionally, im making myself feel that way. I wanted to list some things ive realized in the last week or so that made me feel better in hope that they might help someone else!
1) its okay to look like a potato sometimes if you need an extra hour in bed instead of an hour doing make up. Its not okay to look like a potato all the time because if you look like a potato, you feel like a potato. Also if your body isnt working properly and you dont feel good about its appearence either, its pretty easy to fall out with yourself.
2) there are ways to do the things you want even if its not in the way you imagined. I always assumed id have some big creative job taking me all over the place with an erratic schedual when in reality, I need a stable job with low stress and a lot of leniency for my constant "I need to go to the doctor agaiiiin....". This doesnt make me a failure or mean I should give up. I cant be a famous journalist? I have a blog. I also just learned i can write for independant websites for no money but still, i can do what I like. My dreams dont have to be the way I make money.
3) a little stubbornness is good. I wanted to go for a walk this weekend. My hip gave up in the car park before we even set off (damn comfey walking boots making me take massive strides cos it feels like I'm walking on the moon!). I didnt tell Tom my hip gave up until we were pretty much at the furthest point of the walk because I wanted to prove to myself that I could still do it. I also decided that if a girl at work can do the three peaks with no training, I can sure as hell push myself to walk 3 miles. I was on crutches the next day but you know what? I bought badass crutches for a reason....so I could still enjoy myself! And I did enjoy myself. We saw pretty scenery and had ice lollies and looked like weirdos trying to catch water droplets comin off the top of the cliff.
4) House M.D is an awesome tv show but I imagine pains in my legs when I watch it. This doesnt really have anything to do with anything, I just wanted to tell you all.
5) when youre having what feels like the worst day in the world, it probably isnt the worst day in the world. If you need to rant, rant. After you rant, get over it and carry on as if its a new day. On monday morning, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. But a friend helped me and another friend showed me an awesome cake she made and then i was happy again. You cant choose everything that happens in life, but you can choose how you react to things. A hippy guy I used to work with taught me that and its so true.
6) having a bottle of Mojito in the fridge is a good back up for when none of the above work. So is having a Tom to listen to you rant and laugh at your potato head, but I cant share him, he's mine.
